Burn Survivors-It's Okay To Cry

In the last hours of the Firefighters Burn Institute (FFBI) Adult Retreat, I cried more than I have in all of 2025. I tried to hide my tears in my hands. Since my accident, I’ve devoted myself to becoming something more. I’m proud of who I’ve become- and I’m learning it is okay to pause and feel.

This weekend reminded me how incredibly painful it was what we as survivors experienced, and what our loved ones witnessed us go through. It sucks. I acknowledged that I still grieve my past self. Sometimes, it feels strange knowing that some people will never know that version of me. I wonder what that version of me would be doing if my accident had never happened? I struggle because I find it hard to recall memories clearly from my first 23 years.

I’m grateful, almost to the point of sadness, for how much love I’ve had through every stage of my life. I find strength in the burn community that lets me understand myself more as I hear their stories. I hold onto people from the past who know I’m still the same “Lose Yourself” rapping, walk everywhere, laugh until my stomach hurts, PB loving, silly kid. I accept love from new faces that see me as the me I am today.

Thank you to FFBI and all the burn survivors who show me I don’t have to hide my tears or any part of myself. I can’t wait ’til the next time I see you guys.